Last night with the teenagers, we did a little experiment where they had to write something they may say to themselves after a defeat and after a success. When they were confronted with the things they said to themselves after defeat, and asked if they’d ever dare speak that way to someone else, most of them answered no. They would never be so mean to someone else. Let me be clear. The things they said to themselves, about themselves, were so cruel they could never imagine saying them to someone else.
I wish I could say I was shocked, but I’m not because I can totally relate and I bet most of you can too. We are not just our toughest critics, we are often abusers of the worst kind. We are quick to jump on flaws and hesitant to praise, even in success. That may be the part that is even more sad. Not only are we wicked to ourselves in defeat, but we have difficulty even finding something nice to say when we are presented with an indisbutable opportunity. In one case last night, after being asked to imagine a wild success, she could only come up with something akin to, “I guess you’re not that bad.”Continue Reading